Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
vegas morning thoughts via my iPhone
so i write this at 8:13 am sunday morning am from the iphone im awake while everyone else is pretty much passed out i just thought i had to blog about some of my thoughts i came to realize over this vacation. i think i finally at peace with just who i am on the inside. u can change my appearance but im always going to be myself. if u dont like it tough just move on. hmm what else as for looking for a girl i think imma stick to my guns and just chilll. ive always been so girl crazy up until recently this year and ppl often mistake my friendliness with flirting. ive been thinking about one girl lately who ive had a huge crush on but just wanted to hang with her to get to know her. i feel like i fucked up already with her and i guess i do not think shes interested. i really think her amazingness is overwhelming. i like her more since we had dinner and talked about each other. im pretty sure there a million guys who feel the same way but itz just i was hoping i was the one in a million who had a chance. in other side of things i might have developed feelings for my best friend. shes always been there for me so its pretty much natural but i wanna be the guy who makes her happy as well she deserves someone to treat her right. but i know its not going to happen best friends is the only place i think we can go we have something great going on dont wanna mess with that this vegas trip i wasnt looking to hookup or get my ass drunk... i just wanted to have fun get away from LA and all the turmoil still sitting in my head and heart. people tell me relationships are overrated but i havent been in a real one in years. i screwed up 1 been cheated on another parents broke us up. ive dated had fwbs but nothing came out of that stuff i asked girls i liked out..nothing. im not trying to garner sympathy here or ask whats wrong with me its just frustrating to try figure out whos the girl for me who will show me some love as well. its a 2 way street, and i defintely detest golddiggers... ugh... anyways iono where i went we this but this spells out my mind right now relationships. im not worried about anything else just who i might end up with. family job etc all great but its pointless without any love to share. my biggest fear is to end up alone. i hope it doesnt happen
Monday, June 29, 2009
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